Several weeks ago I picked up a leather-bound journal I received as a gift years back. I remember being excited when I got it, thinking that I was going to record every thought I had in its "raw form." I also remember the day I wrote the last entry. That day was the end of a lot of things and the beginning of, in many ways, a completely different life. When I started reading the words I wrote just a few years ago, I was full of mixed emotions. I remembered joyful times but also some really dark ones. I was so thankful for how far the Lord had brought me. I wanted to go back a several years and beg myself to see certain things that I was so blind to at the time, to remind myself of the truth that could have been much more evident in my life...

That truth is the Gospel, and recently a friend of mine gave me a gift that celebrates it. It's a Puritan prayer book called The Valley of Vision. He gave it to me with the intention of encouraging me in my own faith but also for the purpose of being a catalyst for new music. Well, he succeeded in what he set out to do in giving me that book. This song is a result of a couple of the prayers.

A paradox is something that seems self-contradictory, absurd or even backwards but holds some kind of truth. Hence, "to be high is low and to be low is high," etc. Jesus taught things like, "to be first is to be last...to die is to live." To an outsider of the faith, this probably sounds crazy. But this is the beauty of the Gospel. In Ephesians 2 we see that the grace we receive is by NOTHING we can do. In every other relationship, the love and connection we have is based on what you do for each other, how you express yourself, and so on. Jesus died and rose again and gives us his grace as a GIFT, so that we have new life through faith. Now here lies the major paradox...

God became man for the sake of a worthless race. We didn't deserve God's love, he didn't need us, and we can't add to His infinite glory, yet He gave us a new life through His Son Jesus. Praise God that his salvation is not based on what we can do to live righteously. I can rest assured after reading who I once was, that I am saved not by my own doing but by the sweet grace of Jesus.

I hope this video found you all well and in some way encouraged your heart.

God bless,
Chase

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Lyrics

I was blind to the truth that was right in front of me
Kept tellin' myself lies to try to keep my sanity
Who was I kidding?
Only myself

When I read the pages I wrote in youthful ignorance
I hang my head 'cause my belief was in some pseudo-bliss
Who was I kidding?
Only myself

Let me learn from the paradox that is Your truth
To be loved in Your eyes is by nothing I can do
To be high is low and to be low is high
In my death I know I'll find the sweetest life

I'll find Your light in my darkness and then...
...Your joy for my sorrow, Your grace for my sin
My soul will rejoice and my spirit will be free
When I trade my lies for Your truth
Oh Lord, I see Your glory

Let me cling to the paradox that is Your truth
This unearned grace I receive by nothing I can do
To be high is low and to be low is high
In my death I know I'll find the sweetest life